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A doctor died and went to Hell. He was met at the gate and asked to stand in a room and wait for Satan. After 4 hours Satan finally appeared. The doctor was incensed. Poking his watch he said, "How could you keep me waiting so long? I am an important man! I'm a doctor!" Satan replied, "Doctors are a dime a dozen here in Hell. But I'll tell you what, since you had to wait so long, I will give you a choice of which part of Hell you will spend eternity in." Satan took the doctor down a hall and said, "Here. I'll be back shortly. You can choose between door #1 and door #2. I'll be back and you can let me know where you want to be assigned." The doctor opened door #1. Inside was an Intensive Care Unit. Blood was spurting, alarms were sounding and patients were coding. A man in the corner extubated himself as a woman in the center fell out of bed. The doctor quickly shut the door and said, "My God, I really am in Hell. I'd better check door #2." Behind door #2 was a Medical Records department. Unfinished charts stretched for miles with notations about delinquent H&Ps. Message slips from managed care case managers filled a swimming pool sized bin, all marked urgent. Inside physicians were dictating as sweat poured off their brows. The doctor shut the door and said, "I don't know which is worse." Then he noticed another door off to the side. He opened it and inside was a tidy nurses’ station. The nurses were all young and beautiful. They were busily making rounds with the doctors and calling to obtain lab and x-ray results. They poured coffee and served donuts purchased with their own money. One doctor complained of a stiff neck and a nurse rubbed it for him. "Now this is more like it," the doctor thought as he closed the door. Satan came strolling back down the hall and said, "Well, which one have you decided on? Door #1, or door #2?" the doctor replied, "Actually, I would like to go behind door #3." "That's not an option," said Satan. "But that's the one I want!" said the doctor. Satan replied, "I'm sorry but you can't go in there. That's nurse's Hell !!! " Thanks to Tudie Welch for this one! A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his name, address, and medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. A few minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his height, weight, and a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room .Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, and an electrocardiogram and told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." The doctor said, "Where?" He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?" Via e-mail from Sam
Kurt Ullman, RN, via email
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